Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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