I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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