Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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