I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
