His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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