my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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