R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
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She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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