3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
