i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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