i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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