I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
