Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
