Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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