It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
