Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
