Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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