I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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