She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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