yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, beer. Big fan.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
