I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
