Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.