Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends