she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom