How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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