he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.