sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.