I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!