I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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