you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
