please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
