Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
there is puke in my bra ... again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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