I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
