does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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