Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
