he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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