Don't you send me to vm
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize