I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Floor bacon is actually really good
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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