Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
God gave him joint rollers for hands
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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