Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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