Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
