shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
