Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need to calm my uterus...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
