What a fucking waste of an outfit
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
