just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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