I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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