We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
