I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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