Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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