I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
