my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
