New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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