apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
