YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize