no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
