how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
