i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
