saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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