you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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