What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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