please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
