the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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