apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
